The FREE TRIAL class

So I did it.  I decided to take the free trial class.  I ate a god damn banana and rode my bike to a fricken' gym.  I made the first step.

     This time the building was full.  There were several people in the boxing ring in the corner, and on the front portion of the mat were about ten to twelve people practicing Jiu Jitsu.  In one corner, half a dozen people were running around a portable obstacle course or some shit, and way in the back were a handful of people lifting weights.  I nervously, quietly, told the person at the front desk that I was there to check out the Muay Thai program.

"Oh, cool.  Do you have gloves or handwraps?"

"Nope, I sure don't."

"Have you done any martial arts before?"

"Nope." 

The dude literally gave out a sigh, rolled his eyes, and said "Whoa."  

     I need to pause here, in case anyone reads this.  This wasn't a jab on his part, and this is also not a dis on my part...I still go to this gym and I love it.  The guy is pretty friendly, and I didn't take it wrong.  He's a fairly jokey type, and I felt that, and I didn't feel deterred in the least.

   "Well, due to covid, we don't loan out gloves anymore, but I think we got one more pair left, if you want to use them", he said.  I took the loaner gear and I went to stash my shit in a little cubby hole.  I did some light stretching, and did as much people watching as I could without feeling like a creep.  I nervously got there a little too early, and I'm sure I was pretty unsuccessful...the not looking like a creep part.  All of the sudden a bell rang and all the classes stopped.  People got up from their routines they were doing, started mopping up their sweat, and they all either got off the mat, or went to a different area.  I didn't get any instruction from anyone, so I went to the spot that looked the most like what I thought Thai boxing training would look like.  After about ten minutes into it, the various instructors realized I was with the wrong group, and I got put where I belong.  From what I can remember, and what I know about our classes now, I missed the jumprope and shadow boxing portion of the training.  To be honest, I don't really remember much about that first time.  I'm writing all this down well over two months after the fact.  What I do remember is that it totally knocked me loose and woke me up!  Punching.  Kicking roundhouses.  Pulling each other around by the back of the neck.  I'm almost positive (although it sounds bonkers to me now) that the instructor had us do spinning elbows.  If you don't know what those are, I'll just let you be confused, because that's exactly how I felt when I was told to execute one on my partner.

     The intensity was super high and there was no stopping point for the remainder of the hour.  Like I said, I don't remember many of the exercises, but I was a wobbly mess afterward.  I've heard stories of people puking at their first class.   Fortunately, that didn't happen to me.  I was kind of in awe that I finished.  I was out of breath and felt like I just got my ass kicked, but I did it.  I was pretty proud of myself.  It might not seem like much, but as a super awkward dude who has been on the couch for far too long (and did I mention that I'm fricken' fifty?), I saw that night as a small victory.  I felt like I was glowing.

    I can't remember the conversation I had with the person at the desk when I returned the gloves, but it was definitely something about how it was terrible, I was in pain, and I would definitely be back.  I wasn't lying, either.  It was terrible.  I was terrible.  I was in pain that I was not prepared for.  I felt dead...or half dead, at least.  It was killer, though.  As soon as I could, I knew I was coming back.